My dreams take me to the wierdest places—sometimes good, sometimes bad—but there are some of them I just don't want to forget. So good or bad, they go here. My dreams take me on a journey into the farthest parts of my mind. If I can figure out what they mean, maybe I can understand myself a bit better. You are more than welcome to take this journey with me, but don't judge what you read. Remember, it was just a dream.

That said, a lot of these dreams have at least one part of them that would be great in a story. Some of them would make amazing stories all on their own, so I do get a lot of writing inspiration from these pages. Maybe one day you'll read one of my stories and know exactly which dream inspired it!

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Boss Fights, Soup, Visions, and Screaming

Last night's dream, although not nearly as vivid as the two before, still left me wondering just what I have locked away in my subconscious.

At first, I found myself in what seemed to be a video game. I was one of four players working as a team to take down a series of bosses. All three of the others were all girls as well, and we were using a lot of magic that was bright green and flowed in bands of air. Our hair twirled around us as we leapt and raced from corner to corner in a more than difficult boss fight. We never actually saw the boss himself in this battle, but the area was a floating platform with five points: four in the corners and one in the center. We had to be standing on the right ones at the right time, and preform some action, that was going to cause damage to the boss. We kept getting it wrong, over and over, and although we never died from it, it was getting frustrating. Blame was starting to be shifted between us as we attempted to discover what it was we were doing wrong so we could get this boss down.
I'm not sure if it was me or not that finally discovered what we were doing wrong, but I remember shouting about it. It was so simple! (Naturally the dream wouldn't allow me to know exactly what it was, but how often do our dreams give us the keys to the future without us having to search or ask for them?)

Once the boss was down, we went our separate ways. I found myself back in Texas, yet the state was... incredibly small. Small enough for me to walk from one corner of the state to the other in just a few minutes. I believe it was more of the idea of how far I was traveling, "statewide" rather than the actual size and distance of the land, because the dream would have been very boring indeed if I spent all night walking across Texas. Especially if that wasn't the point of the dream, too. Either way, there I was in Texas and I was getting a new hobby in life-- making goals and trying to reach them. My goal became the idea of making a new soup or pasta to go in a can for Campbell's Soups. Yet every single idea I had was either already in a can, or near impossible for me to make the recipe just right. I tried and tried and cooked for months on end, only to be met with disappointment at every turn.
This part of the dream ended with me going from one part of Texas to another, each part displaying a can of soup, and each can was an idea that I had thought of, that someone else had gotten famous for. Every single can should have been my idea. All the way down to the alfredo.

As that part ended in panic and frustration, a new chapter in my life seemed to blossom. I was with a friend, I think it was my friend Megan though I'm not sure, and I was cautioning her to be careful in her "sexual endeavors" because I had foreseen that she would get pregnant by someone she didn't necessarily want to have a child with. It wasn't someone she didn't care for, but in my vision I had seen that no matter how much she loved the child, she would regret who the father was. Even if she loved the man, the vision was clear that she should take caution; within a few years she would become pregnant by someone else, and if she didn't have a child now, she would have that exact same child later on. The features and everything would be identical, it would simply be the father that was different. She was laughing and telling me not to worry, that I had probably just had a bad dream, and that everything would be fine. She was telling me she wouldn't get pregnant, that she was being careful, and that she loved this man, so even on the offchance that she did get pregnant by him (though she wouldn't, she said) what bad could that be, to have a child with someone you loved? Either way, she said, she wasn't getting pregnant. Not anytime soon, anyways.
I was thinking of a way to show her my vision, to prove to her that it wasn't just some bad dream. I found a small drawing in my pocket, of a man and woman standing side by side, the woman's stomach large in her pregnancy. I knew she wouldn't be able to see the paper itself, somehow, so I took a blank sheet and a pen and managed to draw the picture almost identically, then showed it to her. She pointed out every possible meaning that picture could have, and all the ways it wasnt actually a woman and man at all, but some sort of animal or the way the woman held herself... I sighed and walked away, telling myself that I had offered my words of warning, and things would happen on their own whether or not I was heard.

I walked away and into my dad's old house, where someone (though not a family member; that's all I knew of this person) was yelling at a piece of paper. I looked at the paper to see what the big deal was, and apparently my stepmom was trying to sue my dad over something about my sisters or the house. All I could really understand was that she was suing, though I knew it was useless. The divorce judge would have to separate their things and there was no judge that would listen to her case until the divorce was final, but it was still going to cause a lot of trouble and heartache, especially to my sisters. I lost it; all sense of control I had was long gone, and I went through the house yelling and screaming, with no definition to my words, just being able to be loud and scream and get it all out. I was angry and annoyed and upset and disappointed and impatient and just every negative emotion triggered by anger that I could possibly have.

I know I got all my anger out and threw myself onto the couch, exhausted both physically and emotionally.

And that's where it ended.

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