Leave it to me to pull out my tarot cards late at night and not think about the dreams they will bring! This one was sad, and full of revelation.
***
Though I can't remember where it began, I know where it ended. In my house. I was lying in bed, waking up for the morning. A little girl needed to get ready for school.
She was my little girl now. I had saved her from a video game--I believe she was an orphan. She was so calm and quiet. Was she always like that? Or did the game present some sort of trauma that she couldn't recover from? I didn't know. All I knew was that she was mine now. There was a good chance that social services would be by sometime, and they might take her away. But until they came, I vowed to take as good care of her as I do my own children. Step one was getting her ready for school.
She was about 6 or 7 years old, so she must have been getting ready for kindergarten or first grade. She wore a blue cotton dress, Tardis blue but a shade lighter from wear and use. It came to her knees, and it had a tank top with wide shoulder straps. I think there was some design on the front, but it wasn't clear.
I woke up to her standing at the side of my bed, reminding me about school. I got up and began getting things ready when I realized the dress she wore was the same one she had been rescued in. That just wouldn't do. My sister in law had given me a wardrobe of hand-me-down little girl clothes for my own daughter, so I began sifting through the piles and racks of clothes, looking for something to fit my new daughter.
I had even gone into the kitchen searching, where I had rows upon rows of hanging clothes, like a personal thrift shop. All the clothes were either too big, in a woman's size 2 to 4, or too small, for toddlers. A few small dresses stood out; I loved the one I found that was shiny like satin, spaghetti strap top, made from three or four large bands of fabric, starting in white at the top, then a band of light pink, darker pink, and blue. It looked like cotton candy. I don't recall if it fit her or not, I just remember the bus arriving and I hugged her before she left.
I then went to lay back down, and I laughed a bit when I recalled a conversation I had in which someone told me about the game and the child within, but they hadn't told me it would be such a sweet girl. I looked down at my phone to shut off the alarm that was ringing out, and I saw the last line of text messages I had sent with my friend, who had passed away. I realized that he had never mentioned she was a little girl either.
At the mention of my friend, I felt sadness and loss, because he had passed away before I had a chance to say goodbye. It was all very sudden. The last two messages I had sent to him actually were images of my character from the game. I can't remember the first one, but in the second one, my character was sitting in water, waist deep. Very clear water. An overlay of a full moon graced the image as well, lending its wisdom and mystery. It made me very sad that the last things I sent were from a game, and not real life. Games weren't as personal as real life.
***
I woke up after that, but the little girl still gets to me. She was so quiet and so mature for her age. Her long brown hair was straight as a board and ran past her shoulders to her waist. Her skin was pretty tan, but that might have been natural and not sunkissed. She never moved fast, just followed me around slowly, watching me peacefully. It was like she had accepted fate, and if I could reward her in some way, that would be great; but if I couldn't, she wouldn't mind. She was very much reminiscent of the moon. When I think of her, even without realizing it at first, I think of the moon. I hope she's alright, wherever she is now.
