[Continuation of The Dragon King dreams.]
Dream #4: The Dragon King's Performance
We rose with the suns the next morning. Two beautiful suns, one orange and one red, both rising from the north. They almost seemed to overlap each other, and it made for such an amazing view. The Cuoca tree we were sleeping under was on the top of the tallest mountain in a long mountain range known as the Yethic Mountains. We were high enough up that I could stand far from the cliff's edge and see the entire valley laid out before me. There was a winding river, wide and strong, that burst forth out of the mountain from a sparkling waterfall to my right. The river seperated the valley into two parts, both of which were covered in a soft green grass that seemed to glow. Spotted through the valley, thickest near the edges, were tall smooth tree trunks, gleaming like polished silver, just wide enough for me to wrap my arms around if I wanted to, with wide, thin purple fronds sprouting out the tops. Unique creatures flew through the trees like winged cats with long ringed tails, chasing butterflies, dragonflies, and tiny winged serpents in jeweled colors. Large beasts roamed the valley floor, what I once would have considered dinosaurs but for their dog-like faces and thick coats of bristled fur.
They were all peaceful; every creature on this planet was fully sustained merely by drinking the water from the oceans. It wasn't salty like the oceans I grew up around. It was pure fresh water, a deep dark blue. It really was blue, too. The Dragon King had laughed when I said it reminded me of home, and had me put my hands in the water. The water itself truly was blue. He said it was all because of a tiny microscopic water-creature that composed nearly half the ocean's mass, living entirely on the energy given off by life. The creature had been a gift to this planet from the Great Water Serpent many aeons ago, for there was time once when the Great Water Serpent had fallen, injured. In his fever brought on from the pain, he had found himself wandering aimlessly through time and space--delirious. He collided with a reef in the oceans of this pristine world. A doe had found him washed ashore and cared for his wounds. As a symbol of gratitude to her unexpected love and nurturing, he gave to her a single drop of water, with a single water-creature residing in it. That deer was still alive, too; that single drop of water made her immortal. And that single water-creature had multiplied, as it needs no mate to do so, and soon the entire world was as it is now. As long as there was life on this planet, this water-creature would continue to thrive; and as long as this water-creature existed here, life merely had to drink the water, and the creature exerted an energy force into every living cell, even reanimating some of the dead cells, and revitalizing life. Some of the beasts in the valley were hundreds of years old because of the life-extending properties associated with that energy force. And even though the creatures may not have understood or had the capability of comprehending that this water-creature even existed, all life, on any planet, needed water. It was that simple truth that kept this planet in perfect symbiotic harmony, and it would stay that way for many ages to come, until travelers arrive in the future and begin decimating the wildlife.
That thought made me cry, knowing that something so peaceful and simple would be destroyed... but the Dragon King reminded me that it was all part of the endless Circle, and one day, peace would be returned. All things must come to an end. Knowing that your end is near, do you try to extend your own life, or prepare the way for another? That decision is what separated Kings and Emperors. Always consider the good of all before the good of yourself, and you would live a long and prosperous life. For example, he said, there was no use in trying to preserve this land when it's destiny was to be destroyed.
"You can not stop destiny," he told me, with a far-off look in his eye. "You can only delay it for a while." He had turned to face the valley below, waving his hand from one side across to the other. "Imagine, if something had not been destroyed, this new life would not be here. Life is like the Great Phoenix; born of the ashes from the fire before it. This may have destruction in it's path, but beyond that is new life. Yes, it is sad to lose something beautiful. But it is not the person, creature, era, or object that matters... it is how they live on in your memory. So do not think of it as an end. Instead, pray for what was lost, and rejoice in the new beginning it brings."
Right then and there, I made a decision. I walked to the edge of the cliff and got down on my knees, folding my hands in my lap, and sent out a silent prayer that this valley would enjoy many more years filled with harmony and prosperity of life. I prayed that when the time came, they would go quickly and painlessly, and that those amazing creatures would not have to fear or suffer during their end. I also made a promise to myself that I would never forget this place, so that it could always live on in my memory.
At this point, I'm afraid I have to stop. I have had... oh, at least six different people tell me that I need to write a book, and after reading the first part to this dream they think this would be fantastic to read. The way I saw this all play out in my head, I can't help but agree. So, what I'm going to do next is write a short summary, telling the basis of the rest of the dream. If you want to read indepth beyond this, you'll just have to wait and see if my book ever gets published. Though I'll keep you updated via my main blog, Mommy's Personal Space, as to how my book is coming along as I write it. =)
Summary of the rest of the Dream
I feel the need to point out first of all that there is a hierarchy of life, ruled and balanced by five creatures. Much like gods, these creatures take on natural forms, but in much more elaborate and eccentric ways. There is a godcreature for each of the four elements; fire, earth, air, and water; and there is a godcreature of life itself. The Dragon King rules over all of these godcreatures and is what keeps them in harmony and ensures they stay balanced.
From this point, the Dragon King took me back to his castle. I met his wife, the queen, and was very surprised to see that he was married (he had never mentioned it). He tells me that he had to marry her for the good of the kingdom, and even she knew that it was not for love, though they had come to care deeply about each other... just not the way you feel with true love. We then met up with his Windseer, who told us of a deeply disturbing vision she heard on the wind about a betrayal, pain, and ultimately, death. The Dragon King did not seem phased by this, and dismissed her with a smile, telling her to get some much needed rest.
Over the next few weeks, the townspeople began to hear hushed whispers regarding this secret meeting with the windseer, and many rumors spread like wildfire about what it had been about. No one liked me much, as they were all pretty sure that it had to do with me, the King was being "tricked" by this "foreign seductress" and that I was just plain bad news. The King decides to lighten the mood in the kingdom with a gigantic festival that will last an entire fortnight, conclusing with a grande finale performance.
This huge performance and festival are being planned, and the walls of the castle get lined with silk draperies from floor to ceiling. The windseer pulls me to the side one day warning me that I had to do something to save her King, because these draperies were wrapped around him in her vision. I was on my way to see the King and warn him myself when a messenger finds me and informs me that my presence has been requested by the queen.
I meet the queen and we go for a walk through the palace gardens. She tells me that she doesnt hate me nor does she believe any of the bad things the kingdom says about me. she says that she believes i am what a prophesy told would come one day, and i was what the king had been waiting for all these years. He married her out of necessity for the good of the kingdom, the same thing he told me, and although she had loved him from the start, she knew he had never loved her the same way. She talks a bit about the prophesy and what is foretold, and how she thinks I might be the one to save the kingdom. I tell her I think she's got the wrong girl, and she said "we'll see."
I finally meet up with my King, but it''s the morning of the final performance. I warn him and tell him he cant continue with this, and he tells me that we cant live in fear, and that sometimes, the show really must go on. he tells me to trust him, that he knows what he is doing and he knows exactly what will come of it, and that i just need to trust that in the long run, this performance is the best thing to do. I know this will all end badly, but I agree to trust him, and we share a few last loving hours together.
The performance begins, and its fantastic. Acrobats, dancers, firebreathers, illusionists, all sorts of amazing incredible things. An amazing show is taking place. meanwhile, I notice three men moving boxes and such off to the side... and it seems quite unusual given the state of things and the way everyone else has stopped what they are doing to concentrate on the show, and yet these three men are still moving things, as if they are completely oblivious to the festivities around them. I decide to keep my eye on them, but when i start to move towards them a crowd blocks my view and when I get to where they were, they are nowhere to be found. The queen then enters and sits at her royal place at the front of it all, yet on the ground floor instead of her balcony. she said she was tired that day and didnt want to make the trek up the stairs for what would last merely an hour at the most.
As she sits down, the King stands at the center balcony of the act, and prepares the way to his grande finale. he looks down at his queen, smiling, then looks at me, and i can see in his eyes that he loves me. I can see his lips forming the words silently; i felt like he was saying goodbye, and i knew something must have been wrong. This was happening. I had to try to do something... anything.
He turned himself into his dragon form in a very dramatic way, with the lights shining on him just right to accentuate colors and shine. I keep looking around for something out of place, for someone making a wrong move or doing something shady. The king twisted just right and my attention was drawn back towards him... and something then DID seem out of place. Suddenly it hit me-- his spurs! They were missing! His spurs, as he had told me once, were the source of his protection and his immortality. There were ways around it of course; every immortal had something that would kill him. Everyone has a weakness. But not even I knew what his was, but without those spurs anything that would kill a mortal could now kill him too. It was as if he was suddenly human, even in his magickal dragon aspect, and I feared for his life more than ever.
I tried calling to him, begging him to come down, to stop the performance... but he couldnt hear me over the music and the crowd. I tried waving my arms above my head, but I must have looked like 20 others doing the same thing. All I could think to do was something outrageous to attract his attention; so I ran over to the wall and tugged on the silk draperies. They were steady and secure, and although a bit loose and flowing, they would hold my weight if I was to climb them. I began trying to make my way up, climbing walls of silk, but it seemed that no matter how high I climbed, the crowd got louder still, and the dragon was always farther away from me. I was deathly afraid of heights, but i climbed higher still. the life of my king was worth more than my own.
The King was up on a balcony in the center again, swirling and twirling in his serpentine form, dazzling the audience and just showing how beautiful and natural he truly was. He was getting to a point where he was staying in that one spot now, as if he was preparing to go back to his human form to say something maybe... i couldnt be sure. but i do know that from that height i was able to see across the entire great hall, and i saw something moving in the queen's balcony. i repositioned myself slightly so i could get a better view, and i saw those same three burly men who had been moving the boxes earlier! they each had something in their hands, and they kept their eyes on the king while putting their objects together. One of them was a golden bow with a soft white bowstring, one was an ivory arrow with a jade tip, and the last one was some sort of silk ribbon. The ribbon was tied to the shaft of the arrow, the arrow was nocked on the bow, and the man who had the bow was raising it to eye level, drawing the string...
I knew I had to act NOW. I had just reached the top of the walls, i began inching along the wall trying to get closer to the king, but i knew it was too late. I shouted to him as loud as i could, and at that moment he turned and looked at me. Our eyes met, and I could see a million emotions roiling at the surface of his eyes, though his face showed nothing. I could see an eternal sadness, a longing, pride, regret, acceptance, knowledge and wisdom, but above all else, love. I could see his love for me. That moment seemed to last an hour, with all the emotions I was recieving at once. It was almost like... he was giving me something. Some sort of transference through my mind. I could feel something... but i cant describe it much better than that. I just knew something was happening.
Suddenly he closed his eyes. It woke me up from the sort of trance i had been in, and I realized the arrow had flown. It's mark was true; right through his heart. There was a loud cry emitted from my king, a sort of animalistic expression of pain and sadness. It was like a flute, with a musical quality, that made everyone want to cry just to hear it. My heart broke in that moment. His body began to fall from the balcony, and without thinking I kicked away from the wall and leapt at him, colliding with his body in midair and wrapping my arms around him. We fell a short distance more, and I closed my eyes and braced for the impact of the ground. I just could not stand the idea of his body crashing to the ground and being disfigured and broken during his burial. Even if I died from the fall, my king would be honored in his death. After a moment I realized we were no longer falling. I opened my eyes to find us hovering just feet off the floor, and we were sort of... glowing.
I felt a sort of control though, as if i was swimming in the air, but without the pressure of water. I lowered my feet to the ground and gently came down, resting the king's head in my lap. He was barely breathing, i could hear him wheezing softly, his eyelids fluttering as if he was trying to open them, but he just couldnt. I realized that the entire room had grown silent; nearly the entire world. No one was moving; the exception to that was the fire-breathers and flamethrowers, who had to put their fires out as they were realizing that they were catching themselves on fire.
The world in silence, all eyes on me and my king, and I didn't care. All I cared about was my king. I stroked his mane, and he shifted slightly, and I heard him muttering, trying to talk. I tried to tell him not to speak, to save his energy, and he almost seemed to laugh at that. He muttered something about his energy being safe already, and then asked me in broken sentences to remove the arrow; to just pull it out as hard as I could. I looked over at the end of the arrow, looked back at him, and reached a hand out and wrapped my fingers around the shaft. I thought for a moment and put both hands on it, then squeezed my eyes shut as tight as I could and pulled. It came out slowly, but soon tore free and I fell back onto the ground, the bloody arrow in my hand. He didn't cry out at all during that, only winced.
I laid the arrow by my side and wrapped him up in my arms, knowing he didnt have much time left. We were still glowing for some reason. He turned his head towards mine, and was able to open his eyes just long enough to look deep into mine, then he smiled, and in an instant he was gone.
I clutched his lifeless body for what seemed like hours, though I know it was merely moments. The light glow surrounding us began pulsating, and getting brighter by the minute. I could feel a warmth, and I felt it all throughout my body. I looked down at my hands and inspected this glow, and realized it was no longer around both me and the king, but just myself. Suddenly a rush of emotion hit me all at once and I fainted.
When I came to, I was in a chair in the queen's chambers. I was no longer glowing.
(Getting through this summary a bit faster now, with less detail)
The queen told me she had the three men arrested and brought to the dungeons, the weapon and arrow laid on a table between us, and her eyes were on my face as she asked where i had hidden the king's spurs. She said the spurs were very important in the burial process and he could not be laid to rest without them. I didnt have the spurs but when i concentrated on them i was able to feel them, and i told her to check her purse. she did so, and dropped it in shock when she saw that she had the spurs the entire time. She broke down in tears, and had to leave the room. I reached for the spurs and a guard tried to tell me not to, that it would be the queen's duty to reattach them, and i told him that somehow i knew she would want me to do it.
I took the spurs, the ribbon-wrapped arrow, and the bow, and walked out and back to the king's chambers, where his body had been taken. A few of the palace servants had let me into the room, and they stood by watching in amazement as took one spur at a time and simply touched them to his sides, and they seemed to naturally fuse back to him. It's like the scales on his body parted and small tendrils of red reached out and grabbed the spur, pulling it back to his body as the tendrils ran throughout the carvings on the spur, until the spur was nestled back between his scales and the tendrils then glowed for a moment before fading altogether. I did this with each of the four spurs. I sat there beside him for hours, wondering what he wanted me to do now, and i never realized that the reason the servants were so quiet was because i had begun to glow again, and they rushed out of the room to start the wildfire of rumors that would take the kingdom overnight. Stories of the true queen of legend.
The burial was a few days later, and creatures and humanoids from all over time and space were gathered there for the funeral, to pay their last respects to the once great king. Some of which I had seen and met before on our travels, some of which were entirely new to me. There was a very touching service, lots of people came up to me personally and bowed, and i was very confused and every time i told someone to get up they looked at me with knowing adoration, nodded their heads, and left with a smile. The five great elementals were there, and they pulled me aside in a meeting. They were telling me how i was the true queen of legend, and how great things would come to me. I would have many trials ahead of me, but i would need to come to see each of them for training and i would be well and powerful. they were kind of secretive but told me that all would be revealed in time, and that i would learn a lot on my own in the upcoming weeks.
Back at the palace, the queen had recently committed suicide. She left a note saying she couldnt live with herself anymore. She had the three men released, admitting guilt to the murder of the king. She had a spell cast on the three, so they hadn't known what they were doing. She told of how she had killed him out of jealousy, knowing that she had given up her entire life for this man who didnt even love her, someone who had just casually brought home some other girl without even her knowledge, basically telling her right then and there that he really did go out into the universe and seduce women. What really got to her was knowing that I was THE woman he was searching for, though I didn't understand what she meant by that. I was just a girl... anyways, she couldnt bear to be left behind by the man she loved, and if she couldnt have him then no one could. It wasnt until she realized that he had given her his spurs that she decided she would kill herself. She realized that he must have actually cared a lot for her to have given her his spurs. He knew she wasnt in any immediate danger, but he also knew that she would attempt murder and so had given her the spurs as a way of letting her know that she was always under his protection, even if he was gone. It was a really sacrificial thing to do, Knowing that she had killed her king, and that he had given his life to ensure her protection, basically putting his life in her hands, and yet still knowing she was having him killed... she couldn't stand the guilt and regret and poisoned herself in her bed.
Weeks later, I was walking out of the palace, about to head out into the universe again. I had spent too much time at the palace, and it wasn't my place right now. Maybe one day, when I was ready to take the throne, I would come back. But now was not the time, and I wasn't near ready. I had a talk with the three men after their release from the dungeons, feeding them well and apologizing for the queen's misdeeds. I gave them all rooms at the palace and had deep conversations with them, learning that they were all very smart and had political talents of their own, each of them complimenting the others, to the point where together they would hold the title of steward for the kingdom quite well, ensuring that all was taken care of until i returned. The entire kingdom agreed with this, as I had asked many people throughout the villages myself over a week of nothing but traveling from town to town and throughout the city asking people their opinions. I stayed back to monitor the men for a short time, but soon found that they had everything under control and I was free to leave as I wished. The men were still quite handy and were carrying a few boxes of food down to a local shelter. As I walked down an open hallway between two balconies, i went out onto the left balcony of the palace. I glanced down and saw them walking; they saw me watching them, and they all began to smile and one shifted the weight of his box to wave at me. I smiled down at them and waved back, then as they continued to walk down the path, I turned and walked across the open hallway and onto the balcony on the right, overlooking a sparkling lake with a forest on the other side.
The view was amazing. I stood there for a few moments, absentmindedly running my fingers up my arms, tracing the glowing golden patterns that had been starting to appear over the past few weeks, since my king passed. A cool breeze rolled in, and I stood there for a moment with my eyes closed, letting it wash over me, before stepping forward onto a chair, then onto the very railing of the balcony itself. I spread my arms out wide, and stretched open my wings.
You see, I've been changing. My king had apparently passed his energy and power onto me when he died; though the great five told me that he had begun the transfer long before that. Once he had died, the last of his energy had flowed into me; hence the "glowing" the fact that i had put his spurs back onto him sort of "consummated" the transfer, and i had begun changing that day. The lines across my body were part of it... as were my golden-lined wings, soft as clouds and just as pure white. I even had small ivory "horns" coming in, two on my upper arms and two on my hips. The great five told me again that those would never truly come in, and i would never truly become immortal, until i had completed all of my training. I would be the next incarnation of the Dragon King; it passes through true love, from man to woman to man again. Though the title itself changes as well. Obviously I would not be the "Dragon King", especially if I was a woman, and clearly not becoming a dragon. Whatever I became, it would be my own, and I would have the power to travel time and space, helping keep the great five in balance. In a way, I was like the "key"; time and space is the key to balance of everything in all worlds. It's what makes it all work, it was very scientific and yet magical at the same time. I leaned forward and let myself fall off the balcony, feeling the wind rush through my hair, fluttering my feathers. As I felt myself nearing the ground, I spread my wings full out to catch the wind, and soared over the top of the lake, running my fingers in the surface of the water as I went. I flew off, into the distance, and began my journey towards enlightenment and higher power.
At the end, there was a view of the sky, with the clouds rolling by, and as scenes of nature rolled through my mind, I could hear the Dragon King telling me some of the things he had told me once. Things about nature, about the great five, about himself and his love for me. About the way the worlds work, how all things were the same no matter how different they were; and it ends with him reminding me that he is a part of me, that every second that ticked by was a beat of his heart, and the last thing I heard him say was that no matter where we were, no matter how far apart, or no matter what happened in life, he would always love me.
~The End~
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
In a World Without Cooking Fails
This dream was fun, and yet weird, and reminded me of something I once did in real life... well, of two things I once did in in real life. -____-
I was playing a game in which you picked a world to enter (each one would be different, for example one had ninja kung fu cats) and there were themed quests and such in a little area. It seemed as if the worlds were open for creation; anyone could create a world, design it, create their own quests, and set the rewards for those who could beat them. Most of them weren't hard though.
I was in a Halloween/ghost world, with an old wooden abandoned ship or building (I know it seems hard to mix those up, but it was very run down and the brown of the wood had a gray tone, and it was very broken and unsafe). The second level was sloped down so you could walk up one end to get up on the deck, where there were some ghost/zombie things to kill for a quest.
There was also a floating ghost who wandered the area, and if you could get his attention and make him fight you--and you won--there was a great reward. He had a black flowing cloak, and a white face mask, though I think that mask WAS his face. It was stretched downwards and slightly out with long black facial features. He seemed to be smiling, but a very sad smile.
I knew I was going to find a way to challenge that ghost, but I also knew that first, I had to cook dinner. I left the ghost world for now, and began scrolling through the list of other worlds. I passed worlds with cats, worlds with kung fu cats, worlds with cats drawn with fierce hard lines, worlds with all sorts of things (apparently I can only remember the worlds with cats). I finally found the world that my kitchen was in, and entered.
I was then standing in my kitchen in front of my stove. I was frying something... it might have been eggs. I turned the burner on and went to the table to start chopping some food. After a few moments I turned to check on the pan and see if it was heated enough for the food, and I jumped in shock when I realized I had turned on the wrong burner! I had my kids' diaper bag on the opposite burner, and I had lit it on fire! Luckily the entire thing hadn't caught on fire, but the bottom half of it was smoking and melting to the burner.
I grabbed the bag and set it somewhere safe, then went back and double checked that the right burner was on this time. I turned back to my chopping, amazed at how oblivious I had been in my mistake, and when I turned back to the burner again, the diaper bag was back on the opposite burner again and it was on fire again! I rushed to remove it once again, turned off the burner altogether and decided to make something else. By this time however, no one was hungry.
I went back to my ghost world and attacked the floating ghost with the strange white face. I'm not sure what happened after that, I know I beat him but I don't remember what I got out of it...
I was playing a game in which you picked a world to enter (each one would be different, for example one had ninja kung fu cats) and there were themed quests and such in a little area. It seemed as if the worlds were open for creation; anyone could create a world, design it, create their own quests, and set the rewards for those who could beat them. Most of them weren't hard though.
I was in a Halloween/ghost world, with an old wooden abandoned ship or building (I know it seems hard to mix those up, but it was very run down and the brown of the wood had a gray tone, and it was very broken and unsafe). The second level was sloped down so you could walk up one end to get up on the deck, where there were some ghost/zombie things to kill for a quest.
There was also a floating ghost who wandered the area, and if you could get his attention and make him fight you--and you won--there was a great reward. He had a black flowing cloak, and a white face mask, though I think that mask WAS his face. It was stretched downwards and slightly out with long black facial features. He seemed to be smiling, but a very sad smile.
I knew I was going to find a way to challenge that ghost, but I also knew that first, I had to cook dinner. I left the ghost world for now, and began scrolling through the list of other worlds. I passed worlds with cats, worlds with kung fu cats, worlds with cats drawn with fierce hard lines, worlds with all sorts of things (apparently I can only remember the worlds with cats). I finally found the world that my kitchen was in, and entered.
I was then standing in my kitchen in front of my stove. I was frying something... it might have been eggs. I turned the burner on and went to the table to start chopping some food. After a few moments I turned to check on the pan and see if it was heated enough for the food, and I jumped in shock when I realized I had turned on the wrong burner! I had my kids' diaper bag on the opposite burner, and I had lit it on fire! Luckily the entire thing hadn't caught on fire, but the bottom half of it was smoking and melting to the burner.
I grabbed the bag and set it somewhere safe, then went back and double checked that the right burner was on this time. I turned back to my chopping, amazed at how oblivious I had been in my mistake, and when I turned back to the burner again, the diaper bag was back on the opposite burner again and it was on fire again! I rushed to remove it once again, turned off the burner altogether and decided to make something else. By this time however, no one was hungry.
I went back to my ghost world and attacked the floating ghost with the strange white face. I'm not sure what happened after that, I know I beat him but I don't remember what I got out of it...
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Reconnecting with my Stepmom, and ...a Club?
I had two major dreams last night, though the first one was a combination of two separate dreams themselves. So I guess it was three dreams, but two melded together?
First, I was a video game character, but real life (not animated). It was much like my healing druid from World of Warcraft. I had a daughter, a teenager, just old enough to have fallen in love and have the power to fight for it. She was beautiful, with long green hair just like me...
Anyways, we were fighting for our lives on a giant horizontal wheel, her swinging around the edges and myself standing on the top on the center. I was firing blast after blast of nature attacks, and kicking myself for preferring to heal rather than fight, but slowly winning all the same. We won the battle, even though we were still in a war.
Then it was normal again, and I was back home where I grew up. I was sitting at my computer when my stepmom, Lisa, walked into the room. She didn't seem to want to actually speak to me, but apparently she had promised to give me her and my dad's new addresses. She handed me a small slip of paper with the addresses on it, then she turned to leave the room. I was disappointed that she didn't want to even speak to me or barely look at me. But as she reached the door she stopped, turned back around to face me, and walked back over, handing me two sets of papers. One was a letter she had written a long time ago, one I knew I wouldn't want to read because it would only be a recap of everything she had already said, but the other one was written on pink paper and I have a feeling it was either important or a letter of apology or acceptance. Something good.
She sat down and openned her arms, looking me directly in the eye, and I knew she was taking me back into her life. I stood up and tears just started flowing down my face, I could hear myself exclaiming in surprise and pure joy, and I jumped into her arms and hugged her SO tightly. Though I was still careful not to be too hard or too tight... I didn't want to hurt her in any way. When I let go, she said it was stupid for us to fall apart when there had never been any problems between us, and I agreed. I then said I needed a glass of water, and did she want anything? She said sure, so I bounded off down the hallway towards the kitchen, excited to get the water and get back in there to talk to her.
The kitchen was very large and very confusing; all new appliances and nothing I recognized in the slightest. The doorway to the next room was open and my Mom mom (my grandmother on my mom's side) and my Aunt Leah were sitting at a table playing cards. Aunt Leah asked what I was doing, and when I said I was getting some glasses of water, she asked for one too. I said sure, and wandered around the kitchen for a few minutes before I realized that I had no idea where glasses were. Aunt Leah saw me struggling and came in to help, she openned a cabinet and there was rows and rows of glasses. I grabbed three, and took them to the fridge to fill them at the ice and water dispenser. I began to fill them... but the water dispenser wouldn't turn off in between glasses! It just kept going and going; I put each glass under it to catch what I could, but soon all three glasses were full to the brim and the water was still spilling over. Mom mom was giving me this look that said "I just cleaned this kitchen and you're making a mess out of it..." but I reassured her that I would clean it up before I left the kitchen. The water finally stopped and I grabbed a towel and cleaned it all up. Aunt Leah took her water back to her seat and they took up their card game again; I went down the hall towards my room, exhausted after all that trouble, only to get there and realize I left our glasses in the kitchen. I ran back and grabbed them, then went back to my room once more and sat back down at my computer chair, to talk to Lisa.
She pulled out a few pieces of papers that had been folded up. Unfolding them, she turned the top two pages over and began to read to me a line from the third page. It was the last email I had sent her! I must have known in some way that I was dreaming, because I remember feeling this shock at just how accurate it was to what I had actually written. It's like I really could have been looking at my email and reading it back to myself right then. Funny though, because while I'm awake I honestly couldn't repeat back my exact words. I even just scanned over the sent copy of that email and I couldn't find what I think she read to me, but I know it was from that email.
I nodded while she read it, showing my recognition. When she was done with the sentence, she looked at me as if waiting for some sort of comment or reply, and all I could say is that I still believe now what I did when I wrote it. And that parents and children should never have a falling out, from either side. And the dream fades.
I know I've never had that dream before, but I FEEL like I have. Like the message it sent me is one that I've been told time and time again, and I just refuse to listen or refuse to believe that there's nothing more I can do. I have this very strong feeling, this voice inside my head, that I could literally HEAR clear as day, telling me that Lisa has to be the one to fight for me.
The next dream I had was incredibly weird. Me, Mike, and the kids were moving into a new neighborhood. We moved into an apartment building, three stories tall, with us on the second floor. There was a tall building across the street, and although it seemed like a normal suburban street, the building across the way was up on thick beams, with a sort of dining room / bar sitting area on ground level, and stairs leading upwards into the building itself.
While I was outside getting something from my truck, I noticed a man at the bar with two black lab dogs. He seemed to be struggling. I asked if he needed any help, and he said he was actually giving away one of the dogs, and did I want it? I knew we already had a black lab, our dog Katy, but I would love to have another, so I said yes. He said to just walk the dog through the building with him since it did need a walk first, then I could take the dog. He handed me the leash, and it disappeared. The dog followed me, and every time we came to a fork in the hallways, I would just call the dog and it would go the right way. It was such a smart, loving dog. We finally reached the end of the walk, and the man said he would be honored if I'd take the dog! He had other people walk with him, and they treated the dog so mean or spoke harshly. And seeing the way the dog listened to me, I was the right owner for him.
I took the dog back home, and let him meet Katy. It was puppy love from the start. ♥ I knew accepting the dog was the right thing to do.
I went back outside and started doing some work in my truck. I was planning on going somewhere, though I'm not sure where I would have gone since I was new to the area and didn't know anything. Just as I was finishing up, I noticed a man and a few kids were sitting on the tailgate of my truck! I walked to the back of the truck and politely asked them to move, since I was planning on driving now, and I don't really appreciate people on my vehicle... They said they understood and got up and began walking towards the bar, bringing the kites they were apparently flying with them. I allowed my gaze to follow them into the bar, wondering just what was over there, when a woman at a table called me over.
She was an older woman, maybe in her late forties to early fifties. She had dyed blonde hair with more of a yellow tint to it, and dark brown roots coming in. She had wrinkles on her face and hands, signs of hard times and long days of work. I sat down across the table from her, and she talked to me as life went on in the bar. There was a woman behind the counter who was married to the man with the children. There was a woman waitressing, married to the man with the dog. And this woman I was talking to, who didn't seem to fit in anywhere but everyone respected.
She asked where I was from, and I leaned back in my chair, suddenly realizing it was past dark. I glanced up towards the window to my apartment, and saw a light on. Mike was standing in the living room, both boys holding onto him, asking to be picked up. He leaned down and picked up both boys in both arms, and spun them around, all three of them laughing and smiling and just being the picture of a perfect loving family. I knew it was time for me to get home, so I told the woman I had to go. As I walked across the street I remembered that I had left the dog at home, and I wondered if Mike had seen it yet. Just as I was walking up the stairs to my apartment, I saw Mike talking to a police officer, reporting that the club across the street was being extremely loud.
The officer left and Mike and I walked inside, him asking where I had been. I told him I had been across the street and I told him about the people and the odd day I had. He was angry that people would just randomly sit on someone's tailgate, and I was a bit upset at that too. He had seen the dog, and although he wished I had asked, he saw that him and Katy got along perfectly and he was glad for the boys to have another companion. The dream ended there, Mike putting his arms around my shoulders and us watching the boys play with the dogs.
First, I was a video game character, but real life (not animated). It was much like my healing druid from World of Warcraft. I had a daughter, a teenager, just old enough to have fallen in love and have the power to fight for it. She was beautiful, with long green hair just like me...
Anyways, we were fighting for our lives on a giant horizontal wheel, her swinging around the edges and myself standing on the top on the center. I was firing blast after blast of nature attacks, and kicking myself for preferring to heal rather than fight, but slowly winning all the same. We won the battle, even though we were still in a war.
Then it was normal again, and I was back home where I grew up. I was sitting at my computer when my stepmom, Lisa, walked into the room. She didn't seem to want to actually speak to me, but apparently she had promised to give me her and my dad's new addresses. She handed me a small slip of paper with the addresses on it, then she turned to leave the room. I was disappointed that she didn't want to even speak to me or barely look at me. But as she reached the door she stopped, turned back around to face me, and walked back over, handing me two sets of papers. One was a letter she had written a long time ago, one I knew I wouldn't want to read because it would only be a recap of everything she had already said, but the other one was written on pink paper and I have a feeling it was either important or a letter of apology or acceptance. Something good.
She sat down and openned her arms, looking me directly in the eye, and I knew she was taking me back into her life. I stood up and tears just started flowing down my face, I could hear myself exclaiming in surprise and pure joy, and I jumped into her arms and hugged her SO tightly. Though I was still careful not to be too hard or too tight... I didn't want to hurt her in any way. When I let go, she said it was stupid for us to fall apart when there had never been any problems between us, and I agreed. I then said I needed a glass of water, and did she want anything? She said sure, so I bounded off down the hallway towards the kitchen, excited to get the water and get back in there to talk to her.
The kitchen was very large and very confusing; all new appliances and nothing I recognized in the slightest. The doorway to the next room was open and my Mom mom (my grandmother on my mom's side) and my Aunt Leah were sitting at a table playing cards. Aunt Leah asked what I was doing, and when I said I was getting some glasses of water, she asked for one too. I said sure, and wandered around the kitchen for a few minutes before I realized that I had no idea where glasses were. Aunt Leah saw me struggling and came in to help, she openned a cabinet and there was rows and rows of glasses. I grabbed three, and took them to the fridge to fill them at the ice and water dispenser. I began to fill them... but the water dispenser wouldn't turn off in between glasses! It just kept going and going; I put each glass under it to catch what I could, but soon all three glasses were full to the brim and the water was still spilling over. Mom mom was giving me this look that said "I just cleaned this kitchen and you're making a mess out of it..." but I reassured her that I would clean it up before I left the kitchen. The water finally stopped and I grabbed a towel and cleaned it all up. Aunt Leah took her water back to her seat and they took up their card game again; I went down the hall towards my room, exhausted after all that trouble, only to get there and realize I left our glasses in the kitchen. I ran back and grabbed them, then went back to my room once more and sat back down at my computer chair, to talk to Lisa.
She pulled out a few pieces of papers that had been folded up. Unfolding them, she turned the top two pages over and began to read to me a line from the third page. It was the last email I had sent her! I must have known in some way that I was dreaming, because I remember feeling this shock at just how accurate it was to what I had actually written. It's like I really could have been looking at my email and reading it back to myself right then. Funny though, because while I'm awake I honestly couldn't repeat back my exact words. I even just scanned over the sent copy of that email and I couldn't find what I think she read to me, but I know it was from that email.
I nodded while she read it, showing my recognition. When she was done with the sentence, she looked at me as if waiting for some sort of comment or reply, and all I could say is that I still believe now what I did when I wrote it. And that parents and children should never have a falling out, from either side. And the dream fades.
I know I've never had that dream before, but I FEEL like I have. Like the message it sent me is one that I've been told time and time again, and I just refuse to listen or refuse to believe that there's nothing more I can do. I have this very strong feeling, this voice inside my head, that I could literally HEAR clear as day, telling me that Lisa has to be the one to fight for me.
The next dream I had was incredibly weird. Me, Mike, and the kids were moving into a new neighborhood. We moved into an apartment building, three stories tall, with us on the second floor. There was a tall building across the street, and although it seemed like a normal suburban street, the building across the way was up on thick beams, with a sort of dining room / bar sitting area on ground level, and stairs leading upwards into the building itself.
While I was outside getting something from my truck, I noticed a man at the bar with two black lab dogs. He seemed to be struggling. I asked if he needed any help, and he said he was actually giving away one of the dogs, and did I want it? I knew we already had a black lab, our dog Katy, but I would love to have another, so I said yes. He said to just walk the dog through the building with him since it did need a walk first, then I could take the dog. He handed me the leash, and it disappeared. The dog followed me, and every time we came to a fork in the hallways, I would just call the dog and it would go the right way. It was such a smart, loving dog. We finally reached the end of the walk, and the man said he would be honored if I'd take the dog! He had other people walk with him, and they treated the dog so mean or spoke harshly. And seeing the way the dog listened to me, I was the right owner for him.
I took the dog back home, and let him meet Katy. It was puppy love from the start. ♥ I knew accepting the dog was the right thing to do.
I went back outside and started doing some work in my truck. I was planning on going somewhere, though I'm not sure where I would have gone since I was new to the area and didn't know anything. Just as I was finishing up, I noticed a man and a few kids were sitting on the tailgate of my truck! I walked to the back of the truck and politely asked them to move, since I was planning on driving now, and I don't really appreciate people on my vehicle... They said they understood and got up and began walking towards the bar, bringing the kites they were apparently flying with them. I allowed my gaze to follow them into the bar, wondering just what was over there, when a woman at a table called me over.
She was an older woman, maybe in her late forties to early fifties. She had dyed blonde hair with more of a yellow tint to it, and dark brown roots coming in. She had wrinkles on her face and hands, signs of hard times and long days of work. I sat down across the table from her, and she talked to me as life went on in the bar. There was a woman behind the counter who was married to the man with the children. There was a woman waitressing, married to the man with the dog. And this woman I was talking to, who didn't seem to fit in anywhere but everyone respected.
She asked where I was from, and I leaned back in my chair, suddenly realizing it was past dark. I glanced up towards the window to my apartment, and saw a light on. Mike was standing in the living room, both boys holding onto him, asking to be picked up. He leaned down and picked up both boys in both arms, and spun them around, all three of them laughing and smiling and just being the picture of a perfect loving family. I knew it was time for me to get home, so I told the woman I had to go. As I walked across the street I remembered that I had left the dog at home, and I wondered if Mike had seen it yet. Just as I was walking up the stairs to my apartment, I saw Mike talking to a police officer, reporting that the club across the street was being extremely loud.
The officer left and Mike and I walked inside, him asking where I had been. I told him I had been across the street and I told him about the people and the odd day I had. He was angry that people would just randomly sit on someone's tailgate, and I was a bit upset at that too. He had seen the dog, and although he wished I had asked, he saw that him and Katy got along perfectly and he was glad for the boys to have another companion. The dream ended there, Mike putting his arms around my shoulders and us watching the boys play with the dogs.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Ice Race for my Games
Last night's dream was exciting, yet scary. I felt true anger in this dream, and fear for not completing a task on time. It also involved a discovery of something lost, in great abundance! All new emotions introduced to my cards under my pillow.
It began with me being placed in some sort of tournament. There were a few others participating, men and women alike, and the overseer was a a tall man dressed in a dark suit, with a dark cape and tophat. I believe he was in either indigo or deep violet, but he kept himself wrapped in shadow. There was a sort of racecourse, with a thin layer of water on the ground, and the walls of the course seemed to be made of icebergs, though it may have been ice-coated glass. It was all deep green and cast in shadow, the walls going up nearly 50 feet in places, so the entire course was dark. We had these jet ski types of bikes that worked best on water, but that still ran on land, and we had to maneuver through the course, looking for a small area with our goal. I'm not sure what the goal looked like, but once we got to it there was some item we'd have to retrieve and bring back to the start.
We lined up at the entrance to the ice maze, and when the overseer waved a globe-tipped staff, we took off. We all began going around an uneven loop counterclockwise, when I happened to glance up and see the overseer laughing down at me. He waved his staff to the right, and as I glanced over, I saw a hidden entrance in the wall. It was created in such a way that if you were passing it counterclockwise, you'd never see it, but if you were coming up on it clockwise you would clearly see two paths to take. I looked around and saw I was alone, so I quickly did a 180 and slid down the pathway. Just as I slipped behind the wall of ice, I heard the other participants rush past. I glanced upwards again, looking for the overseer, but he was nowhere to be found. I saw a pedastal of ice in the center of the small area, with a beam of light shining down around it. Whatever was in the center, I grabbed it and took off back out of the area and onto the course. I was worried the entire time, afraid that I would be ambushed and robbed before I could make it back to the starting zone, and I knew I had to complete this task or I would lose everything.
I made it back to the start, and the overseer stepped out of the shadows to greet me and congratulate me on winning. Even though he stepped OUT of the shadows, the shadows themselves clung to him, and he still appeared dark and ominous, always with this evil grin on his face. The other racers were suddenly lined up behind me, and the overseer was announcing that I had won. My prize? I could open the ice lockbox in my name--there was a full shelf of lockboxes, one in each of our names--and I could retrieve my stolen belongings inside.
I opened my box, and found all of my video games for the Nintendo64. I was surprised to see them, but so glad to have them back. Everyone else was given one small token for their participation, though they clearly were upset to not have their belongings back. I was glancing through my games, when I noticed I was missing some of them... some of my favorites. I began asking people about them, where they were and why they were missing. I was asking for my Mario 64, my Donkey Kong 64, and a few others. No one could tell me where they were, though a few people wouldn't meet my eyes and were obviously trying to get away from me. They knew something, they just weren't telling. The overseer was gone completely.
I began searching for my games, and the search led me to my old bedroom that I had when I was in high school. Someone I knew was sitting in my swivel chair in my room, though I don't remember who it was. They tried to calm me down, telling me it would all be okay, and I should just rest for a bit... all the while trying to ease me onto my bed and get me to lay down, having me rest my head in their lap, telling me it's all okay... it would all be okay...
But it didn't FEEL okay. It felt wrong. Something was wrong, and this person I thought I knew had an ulterior motive that I didn't know and I didn't want to stick around long enough to find out. I pulled myself up to a sitting position, not looking at the person, searching for a way out, for a way to excuse myself from the conversation and the awkwardness of being alone with them, and try to find some reason to leave the room. I exclaimed that I had just dropped something between the bed and the wall, and I should probably grab it before I forget...
When I reached down behind the bed, I felt my fingers wrap around something small, and when I pulled it up to look at it, it was one of my son's missing pacifiers! My son has lost upwards of 20 pacifiers just in the last 6 months, so I was excited to find one. I pulled the bed a few inches away from the wall and laid down to get a better look down the side, and to my surprise there were another 5 or 6 pacifiers down there! I was ecstatic, reaching down and pulling up pacifier after pacifier. The dream ended there, I didn't even leave the room, but I think the look on the person's face said that they were giving up anyways. I was just happy to have found so many pacifiers... my son would be happy. <3
It began with me being placed in some sort of tournament. There were a few others participating, men and women alike, and the overseer was a a tall man dressed in a dark suit, with a dark cape and tophat. I believe he was in either indigo or deep violet, but he kept himself wrapped in shadow. There was a sort of racecourse, with a thin layer of water on the ground, and the walls of the course seemed to be made of icebergs, though it may have been ice-coated glass. It was all deep green and cast in shadow, the walls going up nearly 50 feet in places, so the entire course was dark. We had these jet ski types of bikes that worked best on water, but that still ran on land, and we had to maneuver through the course, looking for a small area with our goal. I'm not sure what the goal looked like, but once we got to it there was some item we'd have to retrieve and bring back to the start.
We lined up at the entrance to the ice maze, and when the overseer waved a globe-tipped staff, we took off. We all began going around an uneven loop counterclockwise, when I happened to glance up and see the overseer laughing down at me. He waved his staff to the right, and as I glanced over, I saw a hidden entrance in the wall. It was created in such a way that if you were passing it counterclockwise, you'd never see it, but if you were coming up on it clockwise you would clearly see two paths to take. I looked around and saw I was alone, so I quickly did a 180 and slid down the pathway. Just as I slipped behind the wall of ice, I heard the other participants rush past. I glanced upwards again, looking for the overseer, but he was nowhere to be found. I saw a pedastal of ice in the center of the small area, with a beam of light shining down around it. Whatever was in the center, I grabbed it and took off back out of the area and onto the course. I was worried the entire time, afraid that I would be ambushed and robbed before I could make it back to the starting zone, and I knew I had to complete this task or I would lose everything.
I made it back to the start, and the overseer stepped out of the shadows to greet me and congratulate me on winning. Even though he stepped OUT of the shadows, the shadows themselves clung to him, and he still appeared dark and ominous, always with this evil grin on his face. The other racers were suddenly lined up behind me, and the overseer was announcing that I had won. My prize? I could open the ice lockbox in my name--there was a full shelf of lockboxes, one in each of our names--and I could retrieve my stolen belongings inside.
I opened my box, and found all of my video games for the Nintendo64. I was surprised to see them, but so glad to have them back. Everyone else was given one small token for their participation, though they clearly were upset to not have their belongings back. I was glancing through my games, when I noticed I was missing some of them... some of my favorites. I began asking people about them, where they were and why they were missing. I was asking for my Mario 64, my Donkey Kong 64, and a few others. No one could tell me where they were, though a few people wouldn't meet my eyes and were obviously trying to get away from me. They knew something, they just weren't telling. The overseer was gone completely.
I began searching for my games, and the search led me to my old bedroom that I had when I was in high school. Someone I knew was sitting in my swivel chair in my room, though I don't remember who it was. They tried to calm me down, telling me it would all be okay, and I should just rest for a bit... all the while trying to ease me onto my bed and get me to lay down, having me rest my head in their lap, telling me it's all okay... it would all be okay...
But it didn't FEEL okay. It felt wrong. Something was wrong, and this person I thought I knew had an ulterior motive that I didn't know and I didn't want to stick around long enough to find out. I pulled myself up to a sitting position, not looking at the person, searching for a way out, for a way to excuse myself from the conversation and the awkwardness of being alone with them, and try to find some reason to leave the room. I exclaimed that I had just dropped something between the bed and the wall, and I should probably grab it before I forget...
When I reached down behind the bed, I felt my fingers wrap around something small, and when I pulled it up to look at it, it was one of my son's missing pacifiers! My son has lost upwards of 20 pacifiers just in the last 6 months, so I was excited to find one. I pulled the bed a few inches away from the wall and laid down to get a better look down the side, and to my surprise there were another 5 or 6 pacifiers down there! I was ecstatic, reaching down and pulling up pacifier after pacifier. The dream ended there, I didn't even leave the room, but I think the look on the person's face said that they were giving up anyways. I was just happy to have found so many pacifiers... my son would be happy. <3
Monday, October 22, 2012
Underwater Farm and a Haircut
Last night's dream was a bit confusing, and I'm not entirely sure of the reasons for a lot of the actions in it... but I blame myself for not knowing, because I took too nearly three hours since waking to sit and type this out, and I didn't think about it much during that time, so a lot of details were lost to me. I think the ones I remember are important though.
I remember me, Mike, an older woman (like a mother figure) and a small group of guys, maybe 2-3 of them. We were on some type of farm, but with an ocean nearby and a water hole right on the property that you could dive down into and be in the ocean. The guys were talking about how they had discovered some sort of cure for something, and some sort of protection against the latest disease (much of this reminded me of zombies being what we were protected from, but I knew it wasn't actually zombies).
The guys went off down the road to show Mike something, and I know they showed him a dead snake (I knew it to be poisonous but nonagressive and nothing we'd ever seen before) and while they were gone I went to show the older woman how we had the largest pecans ever. In the backyard, we had a huge patch of vegetation that looked a lot like 300 lb pumpkins that were connected to each other. I began to pull the pumpkin-pecans apart, and the insides were a light pastel yellow, fading to "unripe" green centers. The older woman began exclaiming how they weren't ready yet, and I was smiling and telling her not to worry, that a little green was just fine, they all cooked up the same with or without green.
The guys came back, Mike excitedly telling me about the adventure they went on, and how there was something amazing under the ocean if we wanted to go see it. We didn't need any special gear on, we could apparently breathe underwater, and it wasn't far. We dove into the water hole and the bottom of the ocean was about 20 feet below us. The entire ocean was lit up, and although it had a watery blue haze, you could see just fine. There was a rope leading back up out of the hole so we didn't get lost. The bottom of the ocean under our farm looked exactly like an underwater farm, and there were even underwater farm animals! We went a little ways out and I'm confused at this point but I believe what he wanted to show me was that we could print out coloring pages with fun pictures on them for the kids to color in... while under water.
Next thing I knew, I was back up on dry land and in the bathroom. I think I was drying off after coming out of the ocean. I was standing in front of the mirror brushing my hair, and I kept shaking my head at how long my bangs were. (In real life, I don't have "bangs", all my hair is the same length.) I ended up getting frustrated, going into the kitchen, grabbing my scissors, and going back to the mirror. I brushed the front part of my hair forwards over my face, and began cutting my hair. I cut the hair in the front just above the tip of my nose, and made sure to consistently check the length with the hair by my ears to make sure I cut it evenly. By the time I was done, and I pulled back, parted my hair the way I wanted, and looked myself in the mirror, my hair was all shoulder length, and it was layered at the sides, leading up to fashionable "bangs" in the front that still brushed off to the sides.
The end! That's it, I cut my hair, admired it, and woke up!
I remember me, Mike, an older woman (like a mother figure) and a small group of guys, maybe 2-3 of them. We were on some type of farm, but with an ocean nearby and a water hole right on the property that you could dive down into and be in the ocean. The guys were talking about how they had discovered some sort of cure for something, and some sort of protection against the latest disease (much of this reminded me of zombies being what we were protected from, but I knew it wasn't actually zombies).
The guys went off down the road to show Mike something, and I know they showed him a dead snake (I knew it to be poisonous but nonagressive and nothing we'd ever seen before) and while they were gone I went to show the older woman how we had the largest pecans ever. In the backyard, we had a huge patch of vegetation that looked a lot like 300 lb pumpkins that were connected to each other. I began to pull the pumpkin-pecans apart, and the insides were a light pastel yellow, fading to "unripe" green centers. The older woman began exclaiming how they weren't ready yet, and I was smiling and telling her not to worry, that a little green was just fine, they all cooked up the same with or without green.
The guys came back, Mike excitedly telling me about the adventure they went on, and how there was something amazing under the ocean if we wanted to go see it. We didn't need any special gear on, we could apparently breathe underwater, and it wasn't far. We dove into the water hole and the bottom of the ocean was about 20 feet below us. The entire ocean was lit up, and although it had a watery blue haze, you could see just fine. There was a rope leading back up out of the hole so we didn't get lost. The bottom of the ocean under our farm looked exactly like an underwater farm, and there were even underwater farm animals! We went a little ways out and I'm confused at this point but I believe what he wanted to show me was that we could print out coloring pages with fun pictures on them for the kids to color in... while under water.
Next thing I knew, I was back up on dry land and in the bathroom. I think I was drying off after coming out of the ocean. I was standing in front of the mirror brushing my hair, and I kept shaking my head at how long my bangs were. (In real life, I don't have "bangs", all my hair is the same length.) I ended up getting frustrated, going into the kitchen, grabbing my scissors, and going back to the mirror. I brushed the front part of my hair forwards over my face, and began cutting my hair. I cut the hair in the front just above the tip of my nose, and made sure to consistently check the length with the hair by my ears to make sure I cut it evenly. By the time I was done, and I pulled back, parted my hair the way I wanted, and looked myself in the mirror, my hair was all shoulder length, and it was layered at the sides, leading up to fashionable "bangs" in the front that still brushed off to the sides.
The end! That's it, I cut my hair, admired it, and woke up!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Walmart on a Road Trip (Hopes and Wants)
Last night, I swear this dream was telling my all my hopes and wants in the world. Or at least, it symbolized that.
I was going for a very long trip, with Mike, Chris, and Megan. We were taking two vehicles; Mike and Chris in Mike's little red Tacoma, and me and Megan in my Tundra. My tundra was also pulling behind it a long flatbed trailer with a bunch of odds and ends all over it, though I couldn't make out what anything was.
We had been traveling for a while, but we were all happy. We had stopped at a few different gas stations along the way, picking up various foods and snacks and drinks. The weather was perfect, when it did decide to rain it was a light shower and the sun was still out. Beautiful scenery guided us all over the place, though I don't know if we had an end destination in mind or not.
Eventually we pulled up to a Walmart, Mike saying he had to grab a few things, and me saying there were a few things I'd like to pick up while we were there. We split up for a while, me and Megan going one way, Mike going his way, and Chris saying he'd meet us inside, he had to smoke first. Megan and I grabbed a shopping cart and began going down the aisles. I don't remember a single thing we picked up and put in our cart, and not remembering makes me sad because I have a feeling the items were very symbolic... perhaps the key to what I really want in life. Then again, they might have just been a representation of material things.
There were a few things we picked up that I slid into other items to hide them, and a few things I said we could get free because I'd tell management that they were broken or something. Some story I'd concoct to get free stuff, that was all I knew. I also knew the security system on the store wouldn't catch what I was doing, I could look on the wall and see a metal laptop sort of object mounted, with a bright green eye in the center. I knew they were watching, but I also knew that they would never notice if I looked directly into the eye and smiled and waved as I did whatever it was I was doing.
We ended up running into a manager at some point, and he walked with us for a while, just talking and being friendly. I had already convinced him that some of the stuff we had in our cart ought to be free, and he said it was perfectly fine; that I was right, after all, and there was no reason I should have to pay for those things. He was a very friendly man over all, and I started to feel bad about taking things from his store, even with his permission. Mike and Chris met back up with us after a while, and we went to check out. Mike and Chris had more items and had to go through a separate line. As we neared the checkout counter, my conscience weighed heavily on me, and when it came time to put items on the counter, I put everything up there, even pulled out the items I had hidden, and I didn't tell the cashier about the free things the manager was going to give us. I just put it all up there silently, smiled at the cashier, and paid full price for everything. Megan looked at me quizzically and all I could say was, "It just didn't feel right."
The four of us started walking out toward the trucks, and when we got there all we found was my truck. Mike looked around and asked in a cautious yet worried voice, "Uh... where's my truck? And the trailer?" Suddenly in my mind I got a thought and burst out with, "We should call my grandparents and ask them." So I pulled out my phone and called my grandma, and got good news. My grandparents were in the area, and they had decided they were going to get us McDonald's for lunch. They took Mike's truck and left mine because my truck was big enough to fit the four of us and anything we had bought, and they took the trailer with them so they could keep an eye on it and not have to worry about it being left out in the open in the Walmart parking lot. How sweet of them! We got in my truck and drove to McDonald's, and there they were, my grandparents sitting at a patio table outside just in front of Mike's truck and our trailer. We all sat down to eat, enjoying each other's company and the good food before us.
We said good bye to my grandparents and went back over to Walmart. Mike said he was in the mood for one more thing, and I said I was in the mood for some candy, too. We went inside and I went straight for the candy aisles. I remember going between two aisles, and at the end of the aisles there was another aisle with the endcap right between the two aisles I was walking down, like this:
═
╗ ╔
I walked up to the endcap and started picking out candies I wanted. I grabbed three bars each of all my favorites, and Mike walked up just as I was doing so. I playfully held the candy behind my back, saying "I dont know what you're talking about, I wasn't getting a lot..." He laughed and we went down the next aisle, which held even MORE candy! We all started taking what we wanted, and when I wanted a Nestle Crunch bar, I saw that they were out. They did, however, have a section of potted plants that hadn't come back after the winter yet, but that would do so soon, and the labels said "Nestle Crunch Tree". I picked one up, it was nearly $10, and I begged Mike to let me have it. I said it would grow us all the Crunch we could want, and look, the plant I picked out even had tiny green buds coming in! It was already bursting into life! He agreed without a second thought, taking the plant and starting to head to the checkout. I laughed happily and followed behind him, nearly skipping at the good luck and fortune we had.
The dream ended there, before we even checked out. But I have a feeling we did get those things. =)
I was going for a very long trip, with Mike, Chris, and Megan. We were taking two vehicles; Mike and Chris in Mike's little red Tacoma, and me and Megan in my Tundra. My tundra was also pulling behind it a long flatbed trailer with a bunch of odds and ends all over it, though I couldn't make out what anything was.
We had been traveling for a while, but we were all happy. We had stopped at a few different gas stations along the way, picking up various foods and snacks and drinks. The weather was perfect, when it did decide to rain it was a light shower and the sun was still out. Beautiful scenery guided us all over the place, though I don't know if we had an end destination in mind or not.
Eventually we pulled up to a Walmart, Mike saying he had to grab a few things, and me saying there were a few things I'd like to pick up while we were there. We split up for a while, me and Megan going one way, Mike going his way, and Chris saying he'd meet us inside, he had to smoke first. Megan and I grabbed a shopping cart and began going down the aisles. I don't remember a single thing we picked up and put in our cart, and not remembering makes me sad because I have a feeling the items were very symbolic... perhaps the key to what I really want in life. Then again, they might have just been a representation of material things.
There were a few things we picked up that I slid into other items to hide them, and a few things I said we could get free because I'd tell management that they were broken or something. Some story I'd concoct to get free stuff, that was all I knew. I also knew the security system on the store wouldn't catch what I was doing, I could look on the wall and see a metal laptop sort of object mounted, with a bright green eye in the center. I knew they were watching, but I also knew that they would never notice if I looked directly into the eye and smiled and waved as I did whatever it was I was doing.
We ended up running into a manager at some point, and he walked with us for a while, just talking and being friendly. I had already convinced him that some of the stuff we had in our cart ought to be free, and he said it was perfectly fine; that I was right, after all, and there was no reason I should have to pay for those things. He was a very friendly man over all, and I started to feel bad about taking things from his store, even with his permission. Mike and Chris met back up with us after a while, and we went to check out. Mike and Chris had more items and had to go through a separate line. As we neared the checkout counter, my conscience weighed heavily on me, and when it came time to put items on the counter, I put everything up there, even pulled out the items I had hidden, and I didn't tell the cashier about the free things the manager was going to give us. I just put it all up there silently, smiled at the cashier, and paid full price for everything. Megan looked at me quizzically and all I could say was, "It just didn't feel right."
The four of us started walking out toward the trucks, and when we got there all we found was my truck. Mike looked around and asked in a cautious yet worried voice, "Uh... where's my truck? And the trailer?" Suddenly in my mind I got a thought and burst out with, "We should call my grandparents and ask them." So I pulled out my phone and called my grandma, and got good news. My grandparents were in the area, and they had decided they were going to get us McDonald's for lunch. They took Mike's truck and left mine because my truck was big enough to fit the four of us and anything we had bought, and they took the trailer with them so they could keep an eye on it and not have to worry about it being left out in the open in the Walmart parking lot. How sweet of them! We got in my truck and drove to McDonald's, and there they were, my grandparents sitting at a patio table outside just in front of Mike's truck and our trailer. We all sat down to eat, enjoying each other's company and the good food before us.
We said good bye to my grandparents and went back over to Walmart. Mike said he was in the mood for one more thing, and I said I was in the mood for some candy, too. We went inside and I went straight for the candy aisles. I remember going between two aisles, and at the end of the aisles there was another aisle with the endcap right between the two aisles I was walking down, like this:
═
╗ ╔
I walked up to the endcap and started picking out candies I wanted. I grabbed three bars each of all my favorites, and Mike walked up just as I was doing so. I playfully held the candy behind my back, saying "I dont know what you're talking about, I wasn't getting a lot..." He laughed and we went down the next aisle, which held even MORE candy! We all started taking what we wanted, and when I wanted a Nestle Crunch bar, I saw that they were out. They did, however, have a section of potted plants that hadn't come back after the winter yet, but that would do so soon, and the labels said "Nestle Crunch Tree". I picked one up, it was nearly $10, and I begged Mike to let me have it. I said it would grow us all the Crunch we could want, and look, the plant I picked out even had tiny green buds coming in! It was already bursting into life! He agreed without a second thought, taking the plant and starting to head to the checkout. I laughed happily and followed behind him, nearly skipping at the good luck and fortune we had.
The dream ended there, before we even checked out. But I have a feeling we did get those things. =)
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Boss Fights, Soup, Visions, and Screaming
Last night's dream, although not nearly as vivid as the two before, still left me wondering just what I have locked away in my subconscious.
At first, I found myself in what seemed to be a video game. I was one of four players working as a team to take down a series of bosses. All three of the others were all girls as well, and we were using a lot of magic that was bright green and flowed in bands of air. Our hair twirled around us as we leapt and raced from corner to corner in a more than difficult boss fight. We never actually saw the boss himself in this battle, but the area was a floating platform with five points: four in the corners and one in the center. We had to be standing on the right ones at the right time, and preform some action, that was going to cause damage to the boss. We kept getting it wrong, over and over, and although we never died from it, it was getting frustrating. Blame was starting to be shifted between us as we attempted to discover what it was we were doing wrong so we could get this boss down.
I'm not sure if it was me or not that finally discovered what we were doing wrong, but I remember shouting about it. It was so simple! (Naturally the dream wouldn't allow me to know exactly what it was, but how often do our dreams give us the keys to the future without us having to search or ask for them?)
Once the boss was down, we went our separate ways. I found myself back in Texas, yet the state was... incredibly small. Small enough for me to walk from one corner of the state to the other in just a few minutes. I believe it was more of the idea of how far I was traveling, "statewide" rather than the actual size and distance of the land, because the dream would have been very boring indeed if I spent all night walking across Texas. Especially if that wasn't the point of the dream, too. Either way, there I was in Texas and I was getting a new hobby in life-- making goals and trying to reach them. My goal became the idea of making a new soup or pasta to go in a can for Campbell's Soups. Yet every single idea I had was either already in a can, or near impossible for me to make the recipe just right. I tried and tried and cooked for months on end, only to be met with disappointment at every turn.
This part of the dream ended with me going from one part of Texas to another, each part displaying a can of soup, and each can was an idea that I had thought of, that someone else had gotten famous for. Every single can should have been my idea. All the way down to the alfredo.
As that part ended in panic and frustration, a new chapter in my life seemed to blossom. I was with a friend, I think it was my friend Megan though I'm not sure, and I was cautioning her to be careful in her "sexual endeavors" because I had foreseen that she would get pregnant by someone she didn't necessarily want to have a child with. It wasn't someone she didn't care for, but in my vision I had seen that no matter how much she loved the child, she would regret who the father was. Even if she loved the man, the vision was clear that she should take caution; within a few years she would become pregnant by someone else, and if she didn't have a child now, she would have that exact same child later on. The features and everything would be identical, it would simply be the father that was different. She was laughing and telling me not to worry, that I had probably just had a bad dream, and that everything would be fine. She was telling me she wouldn't get pregnant, that she was being careful, and that she loved this man, so even on the offchance that she did get pregnant by him (though she wouldn't, she said) what bad could that be, to have a child with someone you loved? Either way, she said, she wasn't getting pregnant. Not anytime soon, anyways.
I was thinking of a way to show her my vision, to prove to her that it wasn't just some bad dream. I found a small drawing in my pocket, of a man and woman standing side by side, the woman's stomach large in her pregnancy. I knew she wouldn't be able to see the paper itself, somehow, so I took a blank sheet and a pen and managed to draw the picture almost identically, then showed it to her. She pointed out every possible meaning that picture could have, and all the ways it wasnt actually a woman and man at all, but some sort of animal or the way the woman held herself... I sighed and walked away, telling myself that I had offered my words of warning, and things would happen on their own whether or not I was heard.
I walked away and into my dad's old house, where someone (though not a family member; that's all I knew of this person) was yelling at a piece of paper. I looked at the paper to see what the big deal was, and apparently my stepmom was trying to sue my dad over something about my sisters or the house. All I could really understand was that she was suing, though I knew it was useless. The divorce judge would have to separate their things and there was no judge that would listen to her case until the divorce was final, but it was still going to cause a lot of trouble and heartache, especially to my sisters. I lost it; all sense of control I had was long gone, and I went through the house yelling and screaming, with no definition to my words, just being able to be loud and scream and get it all out. I was angry and annoyed and upset and disappointed and impatient and just every negative emotion triggered by anger that I could possibly have.
I know I got all my anger out and threw myself onto the couch, exhausted both physically and emotionally.
And that's where it ended.
At first, I found myself in what seemed to be a video game. I was one of four players working as a team to take down a series of bosses. All three of the others were all girls as well, and we were using a lot of magic that was bright green and flowed in bands of air. Our hair twirled around us as we leapt and raced from corner to corner in a more than difficult boss fight. We never actually saw the boss himself in this battle, but the area was a floating platform with five points: four in the corners and one in the center. We had to be standing on the right ones at the right time, and preform some action, that was going to cause damage to the boss. We kept getting it wrong, over and over, and although we never died from it, it was getting frustrating. Blame was starting to be shifted between us as we attempted to discover what it was we were doing wrong so we could get this boss down.
I'm not sure if it was me or not that finally discovered what we were doing wrong, but I remember shouting about it. It was so simple! (Naturally the dream wouldn't allow me to know exactly what it was, but how often do our dreams give us the keys to the future without us having to search or ask for them?)
Once the boss was down, we went our separate ways. I found myself back in Texas, yet the state was... incredibly small. Small enough for me to walk from one corner of the state to the other in just a few minutes. I believe it was more of the idea of how far I was traveling, "statewide" rather than the actual size and distance of the land, because the dream would have been very boring indeed if I spent all night walking across Texas. Especially if that wasn't the point of the dream, too. Either way, there I was in Texas and I was getting a new hobby in life-- making goals and trying to reach them. My goal became the idea of making a new soup or pasta to go in a can for Campbell's Soups. Yet every single idea I had was either already in a can, or near impossible for me to make the recipe just right. I tried and tried and cooked for months on end, only to be met with disappointment at every turn.
This part of the dream ended with me going from one part of Texas to another, each part displaying a can of soup, and each can was an idea that I had thought of, that someone else had gotten famous for. Every single can should have been my idea. All the way down to the alfredo.
As that part ended in panic and frustration, a new chapter in my life seemed to blossom. I was with a friend, I think it was my friend Megan though I'm not sure, and I was cautioning her to be careful in her "sexual endeavors" because I had foreseen that she would get pregnant by someone she didn't necessarily want to have a child with. It wasn't someone she didn't care for, but in my vision I had seen that no matter how much she loved the child, she would regret who the father was. Even if she loved the man, the vision was clear that she should take caution; within a few years she would become pregnant by someone else, and if she didn't have a child now, she would have that exact same child later on. The features and everything would be identical, it would simply be the father that was different. She was laughing and telling me not to worry, that I had probably just had a bad dream, and that everything would be fine. She was telling me she wouldn't get pregnant, that she was being careful, and that she loved this man, so even on the offchance that she did get pregnant by him (though she wouldn't, she said) what bad could that be, to have a child with someone you loved? Either way, she said, she wasn't getting pregnant. Not anytime soon, anyways.
I was thinking of a way to show her my vision, to prove to her that it wasn't just some bad dream. I found a small drawing in my pocket, of a man and woman standing side by side, the woman's stomach large in her pregnancy. I knew she wouldn't be able to see the paper itself, somehow, so I took a blank sheet and a pen and managed to draw the picture almost identically, then showed it to her. She pointed out every possible meaning that picture could have, and all the ways it wasnt actually a woman and man at all, but some sort of animal or the way the woman held herself... I sighed and walked away, telling myself that I had offered my words of warning, and things would happen on their own whether or not I was heard.
I walked away and into my dad's old house, where someone (though not a family member; that's all I knew of this person) was yelling at a piece of paper. I looked at the paper to see what the big deal was, and apparently my stepmom was trying to sue my dad over something about my sisters or the house. All I could really understand was that she was suing, though I knew it was useless. The divorce judge would have to separate their things and there was no judge that would listen to her case until the divorce was final, but it was still going to cause a lot of trouble and heartache, especially to my sisters. I lost it; all sense of control I had was long gone, and I went through the house yelling and screaming, with no definition to my words, just being able to be loud and scream and get it all out. I was angry and annoyed and upset and disappointed and impatient and just every negative emotion triggered by anger that I could possibly have.
I know I got all my anger out and threw myself onto the couch, exhausted both physically and emotionally.
And that's where it ended.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)